


The downfall, the spinning, the falling..

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Canon, Drama, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Points of View
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-20
Updated: 2006-06-09
Packaged: 2018-12-27 10:43:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12079458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: The day started out like any other day, just 15 minutes late and lacking coffee. What happens when Brian takes an unexpected stop and finds anunexpected kid in an unexpected situation?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes:

New fic, I have 3 chapters written already so my rule is 5 reviews and I continue.

Enjoy.

* * *

It began as a mistake.  
My day started out like every other day; getting up reluctantly, shower for 10 minutes till the blur is gone from my eyes, change into something more appropriate (and a bit less comfortable), grab a cup of coffee and head out to the day. That particular day (a Monday, as a matter of fact) however, did not go as planned. And it all started with an empty coffee machine and running late.  
  
As I reached for the clear glass coffee holder I sighed deeply seeing it empty. I looked in the cupboards even though I was fully aware I did not shop that week, thus leaving me in a state of complete caffine-less agony. And I was fully aware of how work would be if I went there with my veins only shifting blood and lastnights alcohol around. Running my hands through my hair I grabbed my keys, breifcase and anger and headed out the door. Descending the stairs I cursed as I forgot the Goodman file on the counter. Rushing back up the steps, into the door and around the counter I clentched my teeth slightly as I grabbed the black folder and left once more, running through my checklist on the way. Nothing bothered me more than not being on time for a meeting, well, some things bothered me more. Nonetheless I was going to be late, granted I stopped for coffee at the diner before actually going to work.  
  
In almost all my life since I've been out of school I'd never once stopped in the diner that early. I knew the people that were there drinking their mochas and eating their scrambled eggs. Twits, is what they all are. Including Debbie. I admit I love Debbie like the mother I never had, but you can't be in a room with her long before she starts running her loud mouth off about anything and everything that could strike a headache at the birdge of your nose so painful you just nodd and agree with whatever she's inviting you to, yelling at you for, or asking you for. I remember two weeks ago when I was roped into attending an exhibit at some art gallery to raise money for god-knows-what. I had bought a painting and gave it to Linsday to hang in her overly-scented by candles living room.   
  
After parking in the only free space I could find (which is ridiculous considering the time), I grabbed my keys out the ignition and forced myself through the bell rining door. The sound had stringed peoples heads in my direction and then back at their plates and papers. I sighed as I saw Ted and Emmett smiling at each other and talking about the new sale at Tiffanys. I stuck my tounge in the side of my cheek and sat down on a stool, waiting for the loud shrill voice to come into play.  
  
"Brian!" and there it was. I felt a slight tinge in my nose and gave a tight smile.  
"Coffee." Was all I said, it was all there was to know right now. But of course, Debbie wanted more.  
"How are you? This is a first.. you want a sandwhich?" She smiled, getting her pen ready.  
"No, just a coffee." She eyed me. "Please?" I tried not sounding angry but I was running 5 minutes late and my eyes were still heavy-lidded.   
"Are you sure? You look like you havn't eaten anything."  
"Its only 7:30, of course I havn't."  
"Then What will it be?" She arched a brow and looked at me sternly.  
I sighed and gave in. "Tuna on whole weat, no mayo, no salt and a bit of pepper." I looked down and flipped through the paper on the countertop.  
"Are you sure you don-"  
"I'm sure." I confirmed, without looking up. I heard her jingle away and I welcomed the ease of looking at the news in peace. Yet, that ended quickly.  
"Brian?" I heard a bit of excitment in Emmetts voice behind me. They approached me and sat on either side. "How nice!"  
"Yeah it's a treat.." I said with less enthusiasm. "Debbie!"  
"It's coming. Keep your pants on!" she yelled back.

"If it's coming his pants are sure to be off.." Ted replied with a bit of sarcasm.  
I sneered and flipped the page again. " **Art Critic raves about teenage genuis**!" the headline on page 7 read. Just what we need, more art fairies.  
  
After waiting what seemed like hours my sandwhich finally arrived and thankfully she put it in a to-go container and my coffee. Waving I left the Diner and headed to work. Looking at my watch I stop and I notice I'm 15 minutes late already and the new accounts in today. I've got a presentation to give and a million paperwork to do sitting on my desk. I started up walking again when I heard a rustling in an alleyway in between the Diner and some large building a hideous shade of green. I stopped again, looking down it, despite the darkness I saw a figure curled up beside a large trashcan. I could hear faint whimpering and as I grew closer I saw the figure shaking.  


"Hello?" I said, in a soft low voice so I didnt scare whoever it was.  
"Is..everyting alright?" I asked, still drawing closer.  
I reached out a hand and lightly tapped the persons shoulder, which caused a head to shoot up.  
"Are you alright?" I asked, the guy avoided eye contact and inched furthur away.  
He nodded his head slightly, the tears streming down his face and his lips churned down in a grimace.  
I didn't believe him, so I crouched down to look at him better, to inspect.  
"Are you hurt?" I asked, looking at his face, noting the bruise near his ear just under his left eye. A cluster of scratches were on his neck, like someone dug nails across it. They weren't that bad, but were still bleeding slightly. His eye itself looked black but it could just be the lack of illumination here.  
He shook his head, wincing a little as he did so. "You lying to me. I can clearly see that your in pain."   
He lowered his head, still shaking and trying to get furthur from me.   
"Look, Im not going to hurt you. I'm going to help you..."   
I moved in closer and wrapped an arm around his waist, trying to get him to relax while helping him up. He was wearing a tight long sleeved shirt that had a tear in the neck line, like someone pulled on it hard. The pants were a baggy pair of cargos that had blood stains on them and dirt.

"Im going to take you to a hospital" I said, trying to move him out of the alley but he shook his head violently.  
"You're hurt, you need to get help." He tried pulling away from me and kept shaking his head. Obviously he didnt want to go to a hospital.  
"Fine. Listen, my loft is just down the street, how about I take you there and clean you up a bit and you can call someone from there. A family member or a friend. Alright?"   
I didnt let him say anything before I pulled him towards my apartment building and piling us both in the elevator, I pressed the red button and we stood there in silence as I held him up while we waited for the doors to open.  
  
I sat him down on my bed and went to turn the light on but he protested.  
"Alright, dark it is.." I walked into the bathroom and reached under the sink for the first aid kit Debbie had insisted I get.  
"This is going to sting, since that cut is deep." I warned before fully placing it there. He didnt wince, or even acknowlage it was there. Just stared ahead at the long wooden planks behind me.  
"Well, arn't you a brave little scout." I joked, putting the ball by the cut around his lip, wiping off dry blood and watching it fizz a little, showing it was killing anything that could be infectious.   
I tried not taking in the way his eyes were a glorious shade of blue. They were one of a kind and despite the trouble it took to actually see them, I loved stealing glances of them. My eyes are a certain shade of brown or hazel nobody can seem to place becuase one day they're more faded then others and some they look more green. His sunshine blue, beach blue. paradise sea blue. Others words could be used to describe them but I'm not too fond of this awkward silence between us and the way I can't stop looking at his eyes. I however, hated my eyes. Sounds stupid, right? To hate your eyes. But some days theyre so faded they're grey and who remembers grey eyes?  
When you realize everything, even your eye colour is fading, it gets harder to accomplish happiness. It gets harder to understand why being okay cant happen right now. Why I cant just acheive happiness with my friends and family, becuase thats all we need really, is what people say. But they dont understand that I cant be okay with people who dont realize I was never okay. I need to be by myself, work things out. And right now I've got some blue-eyed kid bleeding on my expensive sheets and I'm now 20 minutes late for work.


	2. Chapter 2

  
Author's notes: Heres the next chapter.. you know my rules! 5 reviews people. :)  


* * *

The kid reached up and pushed a peice of his short blond hair out of his face, its been there for awhile and I was wondering when he was going to push it aside becuase my own cheek was getting a little itchy looking at it. I would have pulled it back myself but everytime I go touch him, or am remotly close to him, he flinches back and away. Keep your distance Brian, it's the key to not getting this kid in an uproar and maybe he wont kill you. Besides, I dont know him. This could all be some 'shy boy' act and he has a knife in his back pocket and is going to kill me once I turn my back.  
  
Yet the worry in his eyes tells me there something wrong and he is really just scared of something. Or amybe someone.  
"Did someone do this to you?" That was the single most stupidest question. Of course someone did this to him. He obviously didnt punch himself.  
He said nothing, just looked back down.  
"Can I know your name, kid?"   
It had accured to me that he's been in my loft for almost a half hour and I didnt know his name and he didnt know mine.  
"My name is Brian Kinney."  
He looked up at me for a slight second before staring at the wall again.  
"Not much of a talker?"  
He still said nothing.  
"Yeah, me neither, but seriously, we need to get you help and since you dont seem to talk do you have a number I can call and reach someone?"  
He hesitated for a moment and then reached in his pocket pulling out a wallet. I took it and opened it, seeing it almost empty except for a movie ticket, some change and a white peice of paper with a number on it and 'Mom' written above it. I took it out and held it out for him to see, as if asking if this is who I should call.  
He nodded and I pulled out my cellphone and dialed the number.  
"Hello?" an out-of-breath female voice filled the other side.  
"Uh, yes.. is this.. Mom?" I asked fumbling over my words and cursing myself at sounding so stupid.  
"Who is this?"   
"You dont know me, I'm Brian Kinney and I have a situtaion here with this kid.. I dont know his name becuase he wont talk. He seems to be in shock or something, but I found your number in his wallet, I think you should come over and get him, he's in bad shape."  
There was silence on the other line.  
"Describe the person to me.." she said, a little skeptic.  
"Blonde, blue eyes.. about 18.. 19."  
"Oh god.. Is he okay?" she started rambling about him and the injuries and asked millions of questions at once.  
"He's beat up.. I don't know who did this he won't talk.. he's pretty much comatose right now.." I let out a slightly nervous laugh.  
"Fuck! I'm in New york, the next flight out isnt until tomorrow afternoon..Do you think you could keep him there till tomorrow? Give me your adress and I'll be there around supper.."  
"Uh.. yeah ok. "  
I gave her my address and hung up.  
  
"Listen kid, your mother.. or whoever cant come till tomorrow.. and your stuck here with me."  
He looked even more frightened if thats possible.  
"You can have the bedroom and I'll sleep here on the couch tonight."  
I exited the room grabbing one of the million pillows on my bed and taking it back in with me to the couch.  
I placed it there beside him.  
"I can't leave you here alone.. so I guess I'm calling off work today.. do you mind if I get a doctor to come see you here?."  
He shook his head and placed a hand onto his other, covering it.  
"You hungry? Thirsty?"  
He nodded a little.  
"Me too.. hmm. Stay in or eat out?"  
He said nothing. Did nothing.  
"Okay.. no talking. Hmm.. so I should phrase it in a way that you can shake your head or nodd..right?"  
He nodded slightly.  
"Go out to eat?"  
He shook his head.  
"Alright, stay in it is. Come on into the kitchen and I'll see what I have."  
He followed me in, keeping his distance.  
I pulled out two things of ramen and asked if he liked chinese and he nodded.  
We sat and ate in silence.  
  
When I don't know what to do, I don't do anything. And right now he's sitting infront of me at the kitchen table staring off into space and i dont know what to do. I could start up a conversation, but he doesnt talk so, I stare off with him. I wonder what he's thinking and if he can feel my foot by his. Does he wonder if I notice, or what Im thinking? The clock reads 12pm and I cant believe we've been sitting here for that long with no sounds besides my refrigerator humming and the clock ticking annoyingly. I certainly don't want to be here with this kid, and a part of me wants to just leave him here.  
  
I glance at him, noticing that his eyes are closed. His breathing is shallow and he's sweating slightly.  
"Are you tired?"  
He doesnt open his eyes, just nodds a little.  
"Do you want to go to bed?"  
His eyes shot open, a look of terror streamed his face. I didn't know what was wrong with him and then it dawned on me..  
"Oh.. no I meant.. do you want to go to bed.. as in.. alone. to sleep."  
He sighed a teeny bit and nodded.  
"I'm not that easy, kid." I laughed and got up, gesturing him to follow. "Okay, maybe I am.."  
I thought my joke was funny, but he didnt. He just stood at the edge of the bed and stared at the wall. I told him he could just sleep till whenever he wanted and that I was a bit tired as well, and might take a nap.  
He shoved himself into be in the most graceful way ive ever seen and then pulled the black covers over his shivering body. He looked so small in my bed.  
"I'll just be over here if you need something, I guess."  
I walked into the living room, pulled off my tshirt and left my pants on, laying down on the couch on my pillow not bothing to get a blanket.  
  
I awoke from my dreamless nap, feeling as though I had only slept for 20 minutes, to a loud screaming. I looked at the clock that read 1:27pm pointing out that I had slept for about an hour or so, after hearing another scream and some sobbing I then ran into my bedroom to see him crying on the bed, still in deep sleep, tears and sweat covering his face. I went to the bedside watching him stir, trying to wake him without touching him.  
"Hey.. uh.. wake up.. its only a bad dream. come on.. wake up."  
When that didnt work I reached out and shook him, lightly at first but a little harder when it didnt seem to work.  
He awoke with a startle and jumped up. He looked around and then spotted me beside him.   
He eased up a bit.  
"Hey, it's ok. It was just a dream."  
He shook his head and reached up, wiping the persperation and salty tears off his face. He looked at me, avoiding my eyes still, but looking down my neck, my chest and then up my arms.   
"You alright?"  
My voice seemed to snap him out of a trance or something, he took his hand away abruptly and looked down at his lap. He sighed and started looking aorund the room, his eyes falling upon a picture of Micheal, Emmet, Theadore and I on my beside table. He picked it up with the same shakey hand that grazed my arm, looking at it in a nostalgic sort of way.  
"Thats Mickey, Em and Theadore my friends..." I pointed them out individually. My voice had gotten lower as I kept talking. Im not sure why I did keep talking, but I felt comfortable around him.  
He nodded a little, as if understanding about everything I was telling him. I finally got a good look into his blue eyes. I stared at them for awhile, wondering if he minded but getting lost too deep to care if he was mad or uncomfortable. I was loving every moment of it. Somewhere along the lines I started leaning in, but realizing I pulled back.  
"Uh.. yeah. So anyways..I'm craving for a coffee and I havnt got a bit in the house." I said standing up a bit "Are you still tired?"  
He shook his head, moving the blanket from his body.  
"Well, I can have some delivered here if you don't want to.."  
He nodded and I picked up the phone dialing Debbies number and leaving the room.


End file.
